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2022: Lesson Learnt
The lessons I have learnt in 2022 as a Gen z Pilot

Hello everyone! I hope this heartfelt letter finds you well. If you’ve made it this far into 2022, give yourself a pat on the shoulder because what a year! Just when some of us were finding our balance, the planet is in economical shambles but that’s a topic for another day.

On the first Sunday of November, I was having brunch with my best friends, and one of them basically called me a fraud for getting them hooked with my blog during lockdown and ghosting the site afterwards. So, this is me proving to her that I
still got it. Even though the truth is, I have been writing even more now than before, but just didn’t feel the urge to post it on here. And it has nothing to do with the fact that I may or may not have forgotten my username and password …

Let’s dive right in.

Here is a list of lessons I’ve learned in 2022 in order of occurrence.
PS: Girl, I love you, thank you for keeping me in check.

January 
When you wish for a blessing and it finally comes, don’t chase it away with your words and actions.

In 2021, I wished for so many things; I even made a list. I wanted bigger and better. The opportunity to commit to them came and I chickened out. I remember saying to myself: “why are things happening so fast? We’re only in January, I
was expecting this outcome around July maybe. I can’t do this.” So, I ruined it. Not only did I ruin the opportunity, but I made sure it never presented itself again. Talk about self-sabotage… I am still paying for the consequences today and it hurts from time to time, so believe me when I say, don’t do it. Rather, prepare for the blessings so that when they come, you welcome them with warmth and gratitude.

February
Invest in your security; you are never too prudent.

As a young adult, especially living alone, you are more vulnerable to isolation, and can become a target for malevolent individuals. For this reason, ensure that you are always careful in everything you do and wherever you go. I used to think,
“who would want to hurt me? I haven’t done anything wrong to them.” It was a shocker to realize that people don’t need you to hurt them for them to hurt you. They just do. And sometimes it’s not about you, it’s about yours…
Also, it may sound cliché, but this is a reminder and an awakening for your inner child: Do not trust strangers. Watch out for the random dinner invitations with people you know nothing about. I call it the adult version of a stranger offering
you a sweet and asking that you come with them afterwards. Always keep an eye on your keys and keep track of who comes in and out of your space. Organize your circle of trust in a way that foul play can be smelt from a mile away, even if it comes from within the circle. Invest in safes, trackers, and surveillance cameras. Do not risk losing what you’ve so hardly worked for at the mercy of jealous people.

March
Lean on your parents whenever you can for advice, help, and support. This is what they are here for. 

I became independent very early in my adult life and would only chat with my parents to check on them and let them know what country I am in. Turns out they are my biggest resource. When I realized they could help me with “adult stuff”, I allowed myself to be their child again and it’s the best decision I have ever made this year. They’ve guided me through difficult situations, gave me legal advice, prayed for me and with me, fed me, stayed up all night with me sometimes, and did all these things that I thought I wasn’t eligible for anymore, because I am now a “grownup”. That was obviously a lie; there is always room in mum and dad’s hearts for their little girl, and I am grateful to 2022 for helping me crack the code.

April 
Make your voice heard. Only then would things start moving in your direction.

For a generation that talks a lot, we do not say much. Meanwhile, in this day and age, we are required to speak up and make a name for ourselves. We cannot allow some situations to slide at the expense of our sanity. So this is your clue to air your opinions, to push for that appointment, to call people out on their BS. By the way, one life hack I recently discovered is, usually people who roar in anger over the phone, whisper in timidity in person, and sometimes confronting the situation, (I’m talking healthy confrontation with good communication skills), will get you closer to your goal than ranting or cutting people off ever will.

May

I honestly didn’t learn anything in May, and that’s okay. Not everyday growth, sometimes you wallow until there is nothing to wallow about anymore, and you keep it moving.

June
Sickness can break your stride, so take care of your health.

Get regular checkups and blood work and know your family history as it can save your life from wrong diagnoses. Also, wear your face mask (covid still gave some of us hell this year), because being stuck in bed while the whole world is moving forward can be frustrating and further disabling. I would have loved giving you a speech on going to the gym and taking your multivitamins but that would make me a liar because this year, going to the gym did nothing for me. My gym life has been as unstable as Ghana’s economy, (stray bullets!) but next year will be better inch‘Allah. I also wish the same for my favourite country Ghana. (Love you sweetie!)

July
Be there for others, however, choose yourself often so that you don’t resent them when they choose themselves. You might be the most generous person on this earth, and the most available for everyone, but you are not entitled to their reciprocation. You’re allowed to be upset, and even angry, but not resentful, because resentment stems from something deeper that you will have to unpack if you want healthy relationships, where you feel free to give and to receive. It would pass through establishing boundaries for your life and learning to say “No” with very little to no explanation for it. It will feel odd sometimes, but you should practice it. You’ll thank me later.

August
Deal with your past before it deals with you,

and the earlier you do it, the better. However, while you’re at it, accept help; accept the love that is being extended to you and accept that you are imperfect. Contrary to what Taylor Swift said in “Anti-hero”, it’s not you, you are not the problem. I find it detrimental to anyone’s self-esteem to call themselves “the problem”. You may have problems, and they may be the reason why somebody else is hurting but, they do not define your core identity. And the truth is, before these issues surfaced, as you are resolving them, and after they are gone, you were, you are, and still will be a human who deserves love and grace.

September
An employer doesn’t care about you [when you’re not productive to them]

but we knew this didn’t we?
However, what I’d like to share is how I learnt to not let it shock me or affect my work ethic and my added value to any past, present, or future company. Every business relationship is transactional. You give what you have, and you receive what you don’t have. When one side of the transaction is faulty, it makes the other party withhold from giving what they would have openly given under normal circumstances. When I am the faulty party, I accept what I am being given with gratitude and understanding that they couldn’t have done better for my sake. When it is the other party’s turn to be faulty, I withhold. I save my energy, and channel it into things that bring me joy. When we’re both doing what we’re supposed to do, we both evolve. “The girls that get it get it, and the girls that don’t, don’t.”

October
Love always wins.

Love in the form of divinity, community, salvation, redemption, romance, family, and prosperity. I may not say much here, maybe because I have too much to say, but I will just say this: loving isn’t easy, but it’s easier than resenting. Love can be so natural and trying at the same time, but it is worth allowing yourself to be humbled by it.

November
Once life starts getting comfortable, don’t stop doing what you did to get there.

Life is about discipline and consistency. These two, in my opinion, can get anyone anywhere, but we get distracted in the process, demotivated, sick, sad, and frustrated. It’s okay to slow down, it’s okay to stumble, it’s okay to pause, to restart or re-strategize. But darling, don’t you ever stop doing what you do. It brought you this far, and it will take you even further if you don’t give up.

I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it, and I wish us all a “Detty December”. We all deserve some fun and good rest.

Love,
Jenn

Lexical for my non- “GEN-Z” readers.

GEN-Z – Generation Z. People born between 1996/1997 and 2012. Also considered a personality trait, as children born in this period generally grow up to become very unconventional adults.

BS: an acronym for Beef Stew *wink wink* – the things that other people do, that are undesirable and problematic to you.

“Not every day” [growth] – A common saying to express our desire to step out of the routine, and generally do something more explicit, more fun

Stray Bullets – shades thrown at someone or something who was minding their business and did absolutely nothing to you

“The girls that get it get it, and the girls that don’t, don’t” – A saying common to new-age social media which affirms that a brief explanation should be enough to be understood by only a specific set of people, and if you don’t understand it, then you’re not part of this elite. It is also not gender specific.

Detty December– A December filled with enjoyment and money spent on fun.